Moan for me like Helen Keller
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Operation Purity has been aborted
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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