I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
