I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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