question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
