The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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