if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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