She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
