He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
