**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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