I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize