ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
me + whiskey = a bad person
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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