I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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