matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
