Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
