KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize