He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
