What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
