I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sober January is a disaster.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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