grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
