I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Let's paint friendship bongs
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
