Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize