is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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