someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
