youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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