I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
