I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
