so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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