Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize