After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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