U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
