I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
