Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
