I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
