Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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