When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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