are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
