Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
