I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I just went to clothing optional bar
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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