Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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