Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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