the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
