Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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