How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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