i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
