That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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