she was so not down for the gang bang
In America we eat man semen.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
