i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
