i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
