Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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