He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
