So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
