I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
