well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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