My friends, they love my intelligence
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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