Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize