hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize