"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
