did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
