You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize